OCTOBERFESTivities

Alright, so I gotta do my annual October post. I love October, especially this one since it was unusually warm. And I love warm. Its my birthmonth so of course that makes it even better, plus we do our annual trip to the pumpkin patch with our great friends the Barneys. And of course, Halloween. It's just a good month.This year we brought these two lovely ladies with us. (Below, Chad's mom and sister). They were visiting us from out of town. We wanted them to partake in our little family tradition. Which in the end they ended up by the huge bonfire holding our two wee lil' ones (The Barneys have a baby a couple months younger than Gavin). Probably not what they had in mind. We made sure to share a bag of freshly made donuts rolled in cinnamon and sugar. Hopefully that made it all worth it.I of course love taking the little hay ride out to the pumpkin patch and searching the fields for the perfect pumpkins. Our rule: You gotta be able to carry it out. If you can't, its too big, and I'm not carrying two.Then of course there's Halloween. We like to draw the holiday out by going to as many trunk or treats as possible. These were taken at my brother and sister-in-laws trunk or treat. This is Ethan with two of his cousins. Ethan was a Harry Potter character. He wasn't actually Harry Potter though, he was just a student from Griffindor, but he got mistaken for Harry Potter a lot. I mean, come on people, if he were Harry Potter he'd have glasses and a scar on his forehead!These are two of Ethan's girl cousins. LOVED Maddies shaggy dog costume. Best. Costume. Ever. You could spot her from a block away. I was sad she didn't wear it to the second trunk or treat.

Then of course there was adorable little Gavin in his cow costume. The cutest cow in town, I'd say.

This is sad little Tito in his Bee costume. If I were to hear his thoughts in this moment, I'm pretty sure he'd be cursing my name for making him look like a bee.

On Halloween night we went to my sister's trunk or treat then went trick or treating through the neighborhood. Later Chad and my brother took the three older boys down to Harrison Blvd to finish up the night. Those homes go all out with decorations and they get 1500-2000 kids coming to their homes on Halloween night. Can you believe that? Can you imagine buying that much candy for each child?? It's actually something I've never done since we've lived here, and admittedly I was a little sad I missed out on going down to Harrison.

In between the pumpkin patch and Halloween I turned 36. I'm old! Not really, but kinda. In the sense that I'm 4 years away from being 40 and that just sounds old. Now that I'm 36 I'm really concerned about having good skin, and wonder if my firming neck cream and dewrinkle cream is really working. I wish I would have been more concerned about my skin when I was 15 and dousing myself with baby oil and laying out for hours at a time.

Chad treated me to a lovely dinner and family party. Plus it was fun to have Chad's mom and sister in town and they treated me to a yummy lunch. October is just a great month!

EASIEST Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

Tis' the season for chocolate chip pumpkin bread. I thought I'd share this easy recipe I think everyone should know. You ready for it? It's only 3 ingredients. I repeat, 3 ingredients. No eggs, no oil, no water.

Here's the recipe:

1 box of Spice Cake mix

1 15oz can of pumpkin

1 cup of chocolate chips (I use semi-sweet)

Preheat oven to 350. Grease 4 mini bread pans (That's how I always make them. I haven't tried it in a normal size bread pan yet). Combine ingredients and either stir with a spoon or beat with a beater. The spoon makes it more dense and the beater makes it more airy. Fill bread pans about 2/3 of the way up. Cook for about 25 minutes. I usually set my timer for 20 minutes, check it, and then keep it in for about 5 minutes more.

EASY!! And they make a great little visiting teaching treat.

Chopped

I did it! I chopped my hair. And I've got the 9 inch ponytail to prove it. It's kinda creepy looking as it sits on my entry table right now. I was on the fence and when Chad got home from work I told him I might not cut my hair. He immediately told me not to be a wimp and just do it. So I did. I don't know why it was so hard to let go of the length since I had various short hairdos from the time I was 19 years old until I was about 29. But difficult, it was.

Here's the before (again)...And here's the after.

Wait for it....

Wait for it...Is the tension building yet?

Wait for it...

I like it. I'm glad I did it. Chad likes it. Ethan doesn't like it at all. He thinks a haircut like this needs bangs. Who knew. Plus he likes long hair. Not short.

I'll be honest, I feel a bit sheepish posting these pics of myself. I don't usually like to draw that much attention to myself but I thought some may appreciate seeing the change. It's weird that the color looks different in each pic. The color is more true to the pic on the left.

Aging & Haircuts & Kids

Sometimes it surprises me when I find out that someone is my age or younger, when I could have sworn they were much older than I. It causes me to pause and wonder if I really look that old. Sometimes I look at Angelina Jolie and wonder this. Not that she really looks "old" but for some reason she just seems older than me (in my mind). But, she was born in 1975 just like me. I swear I look younger than her, but I guess I just gotta face the reality that I don't. Oh well. Aging, why fight it?

Tomorrow I'm getting rid of this long hair. Stop me now, or forever hold your peace. I'm tired of it. It feels heavy and cumbersome, it takes too long to do and all I want to do is pull it back in a pony tail. I want to be free of it. I'm thinkin "long bob," cut somewhere between the chin and shoulders. Probably closer to the shoulders in my case. Editor's note: I started this post yesterday and now I'm having major second thoughts on chopping my hair. Stay tuned for what I decide to do in the end. Feel free to give me any input up until 7pm tonight.

I love 8 year old Ethan. He's awesome. 8 year old Ethan wonders many things. He wonders who the tallest man in the world is. He wonders how skinny the skinniest man in the world is. He wonders who the strongest man in the world is. (I'm just now realizing as I write this that I really need to get him a Guiness Book of World Records.) He wonders if we were to take all the cars in the world and put them on Mt Everest, would we be able to move it? It's times like those when all I can say is, "I don't know how to answer that Ethan." 8 year old Ethan is learning how to recognize and feel the Holy Ghost. He told me that when he was trying to go to sleep the other night he got scared and so he prayed for comfort. He said he felt comforted immediately and felt "a pressure in his chest" (that's how he has explained that he feels the Holy Ghost) and he wasn't scared anymore and couldn't think of scary thoughts. 8 year old Ethan is awesome.

I do have to admit that sometimes I miss 3 year old Ethan. Looking at pictures like this make me miss him and realize how fast he's growing up.

3 year old Ethan said and did really funny things like sleep with a can of soup that had Batman on the label, kissed it and said, "Thank you for buying this for me daddy." Writing it almost makes me cry 'cause I can just hear his little 3 year old voice saying it, it's so cute and sweet.

3 year old Ethan said, "Oh thank you mom, you're so helpful," when I got him some crackers and peanut butter before bed.

3 year old Ethan tried to bribe me for a ham sandwich once. Driving home after swimming lessons, he says:

"Mom, I'm hungry. I want a ham sandwich." Then he says to me (in a bribing tone), "If you give me a ham sandwich, I'll give you a treat. I'll give you a special treat." He then proceeded to negotiate his ham sandwich throughout the rest of the car ride home. So funny. I'm glad I wrote these things down cause I know I wouldn't have been able to remember most of them otherwise.

Then there's sweet and adorable 7 month old Gavin. 7 month old Gavin sits really well now without support. He actually likes food. Green beans, lentil stew and all. He's got 2 little bottom teeth creeping in, hence the drool soaked shirt below. 7 month old Gavin isn't so sure of strangers anymore and doesn't like to watch mama and dada leave the room. He also makes the cutest gurgly noises. 7 month old Gavin is a champion sleeper and has been for a while (I hesitate to even write that for fear he may catch wind that I'm bragging about him and decided to change his mind). 7 month old Gavin is the cutest and happiest baby in the world.

Where Were YOU?

As we all know it's the tenth anniversary of 9/11 (a day late). We can't turn on the TV without hearing about it right? I really can't believe it's been ten years since that day. So much has changed because of that day. Airports have changed so much since then. Remember the days when we could just go up to the gate and wait for someone? Remember the lack o' security there? It doesn't seem that long ago. So the question is, where were you that morning?

I had been married a little over a year and living in our apartment in Provo. I was getting ready for work at Ancestry.com. I turned on the news and of course saw the World Trade Towers and saw the North Tower on fire. The news people seemed confused and were telling us they thought a plane had flown into the building. I immediately thought it was a small private plane that had accidentally hit the building. Then there it was, that really frightening moment the cameras caught on tape, of a huge plane very deliberately fly full speed into the other tower. That was CRAZY! It still is. When I see that image replayed it still scares me. It's almost unbelievable. I had to get to work, but I remember hearing more of what was going on throughout the day and I remember realizing that those weren't just private or cargo planes, but planes full of people. So sad and so scary for them. I remember hearing when the Towers started collapsing. Frightening. At Ancestry.com I worked in the call center, on the order status team. That day was pretty much dead. We barely got any calls except for that one rogue caller once in a while. I remember gettting all annoyed when someone would dare call wondering about their order during a terrorist attack. Their care about a cd seemed so superficial during such a scary and uncertain time.

One thing that stuck out to me as they've been doing 9/11 specials and interviewing the children then and now was a story one of the girls told. She said she had woken up with a bad dream the morning of 9/11. In that dream something bad had happened to her dad. She told him this and she pleaded with him not to go to work that day. He said, "Bad dreams don't come true." He died that day in one of the towers. I just thought, how sad, if only he had listened to his daughter. It would be interesting to hear the stories of those who happened to get sick that day or if someone had a bad feeling and decided not to go in that day or felt they shouldn't get on that plane.

It is definitely a day I'll never forget. Admittedly, it will go into the back of my mind and lay dormant for a while, but I've appreciated this time to remember what happened on 9/11 and what that day means to me.

Much Ado About Nothing

Warning: This post contains some serious rambling and blabbing. Just pretend you're right here with me and this is probably what we'd be talking about. Notice all the "sidenotes." If you haven't noticed this about me, this is how I have conversations. I get really sidetracked and by the end of a conversation I'm never completely satisfied because I usually don't get to the bottom of one subject. Just ask Courtney. Sometimes I think I have Adult ADD.

I've noticed that people aren't blogging nearly as much as they used to. It seems like at least 20 people on my blog roll haven't blogged in over a year. So that just leaves us old faithfuls in the blogging world. I guess I'm an old faithful. Although I'm not the best either. I've been known to abandon my blog for a while in the past. But I always come back and I never leave for too long.

Why I blog. Its a great way to journal. It helps me remember what happened and when. When did we go on that trip? When did we get rid of our big blue bomb? That kind of stuff. I know, kinda boring for others. It also helps grandma Judy and other California family members stay updated since we don't get to see them enough. I appreciate when people are open on their blogs. It's refreshing. I feel like people in general have become less connected in a way, but I appreciate how one can be quite personal through blogging and you can connect with others this way. And others can connect with you. Lately I've been reading a couple different blogs, two of which are sharing their stories and very personal details of dealing with different trials in their lives. I'm a total lurker and I haven't even met them but I appreciate reading their stories and admire their courage. I'm not going through or haven't gone through those things that they have/are but somehow I relate because I've realized that we all go through different trials but many times we feel the same pain. This is a total sidenote, but as I went through infertility, I realized SO MANY things. One thing I didn't learn until pretty recently, but wished I'd learned sooner, that when experiencing infertility you literally go through the mourning process to a certain degree. It's probably not as painful of a mourning process as it is when you actually lose someone close in your life, but a mourning process nonetheless. Anyway, learning that validated all the feelings, all the ups and downs, all the anger, sadness, and disbelief that I experienced those 6 1/2 years. Now what was I blabbing about? Oh yeah, being grateful that people put themselves out there for all of us to see. I also love reading others blogs and being able to experience their artistry, creativity, cleverness, humor, etc. Whatever it is they have to offer that day. One other sidenote. I feel I must explain my music on my blog. I know, I know, music on blogs can be annoying. When others have music on their blogs I usually immediately turn it off and get a little annoyed when I can't find it easily. Please note that I have deliberately placed my music at the top of my blog for easy access so one can immediately turn it off. Something you must know about me is that I love music. I think I've explained this before. If there is a song I like, I must listen to it over and over until I'm literally sick of it. I know, it's crazy. If I don't have it I must get my hands on it. Because I must. listen. to. that. song. A family trait, I've realized. That's where my blog music comes in handy. It's a free download. I get to listen to my favorite song of the moment for free. Its a win, win (for me, at least). So just know that I've probably listened to each one of my blog songs over and over and over again. And loved every minute of it. Get it? Got it? Good.

Something else I've been thinking about lately that makes me feel grateful, are my ancestors. I've been reading a book about my great great grandfather and great great grandmother. They are seriously amazing people. If only I were as faithful and hard working as they were. Mary, my great, great grandmother, traveled all alone all the way from Switzerland to New York City at the age of 18. She was trying to get to "Zion" with the rest of the Saints. Didn't have enough money to get there once she got to NYC. So she found a job, stayed there a year and left as soon as she had enough money. All because she wanted to live her religion with fellow members of the church. I just think that's so courageous. She also spent a night in jail because she was telling everyone she could about the church. This is when she was in Germany working and in Germany at that time it was against the law to preach mormonism. In the middle of the night a German officer came and got her and took her to jail. On the way to the police station/jail she asked the officer all about the judge that would be seeing her the next day. Apparently he wasn't a very good man. She spent the night writing the judge a letter and started her letter out by saying that she didn't think his wife and children would appreciate knowing what he's been up to. She then proceeded to tell him all about the gospel and share her testimony (which was against the law, mind you). The next day the judge got her letter and she was released from jail. What a cool woman! I just feel grateful for those early members of my family who joined the church, who lived the gospel, and who passed it on to their kids. I'm grateful for my great grandparents who passed the gospel onto my grandparents who then passed it onto my parents who then passed it onto me. And now I'm passing it on to my children. It just goes to show that the decisions we make in our lives will not only affect our lives but will affect generations. For good or for bad. And I'm so grateful that my ancestors chose to pass the gospel down to me. It brings me such joy and perspective.

I've mentioned in the past that my mom has cancer. Last fall, after her treatments they couldn't find any more signs of cancer which was a relief and very exciting. But I knew there was always a good chance it would come back. In January my mom went in for testing and there were signs the cancer had come back. Upon more testing, we found out in March that they found a tumor in her liver and the Dr gave her a certain amount of time to live. That was definitely hard to hear. That week was especially hard as I had to process the fact that she wouldn't always be around and that she might leave us sooner than I wanted her to go. Through this whole process the last few years I've always been really hopeful that everything would turn out ok and she would be ok, but when I found out it had gone into her liver, that was the first time I really mourned the possible loss of my mom. Right now she's doing really well. She doesn't seem sick at all. If you saw her you wouldn't even guess she's got cancer. She's up and about and as busy as ever. She had a procedure done where they burned the tumor. It came back in her liver again and they burned it again. And now we just hold on and wait and see what the next test results say. It wasn't great news that it came back the second time in her liver, but the good news is that there was only one tumor and it didn't spread to any of her other organs. Not even in the colon which is where the cancer originated.

This is another sidenote, but kind of exciting, at least for me. You may or may not know that I am a nail biter. I love to bite my nails. So sue me. I've done it for probably about 30 years. It's a HORRIBLE habit. My parents used to put this gross tasting stuff on my nails to get me to stop. Didn't work. I'd just bite them anyway. Gross taste and all. I've tried to stop biting them in the past by growing them out. Didn't work. The more nail I saw the more I'd want to bite them. Too tempting. So, on that note, I've stopped biting them for good this time. It's been 3 weeks and I haven't bitten a nail. I guess you could say I'm a recovering nail biter. My main motivation is my teeth. Because I've bitten them so much throughout the years it's worn down a couple of my teeth. One in particular that needs to be capped. They cap it, I continue biting and wear the cap down. Then they have to recap it. Its ridic. This time around I'm just keeping them short. I file them down most days so I'm not tempted. So far so good. Yay for me!

Hah...done. (deep breath). I think I've spilled most my beans for now. There's more I can talk about. There's always more to talk about, but I'll stop for now. And if anyone actually took the time to read this whole post, I greatly admire you!

My Guys

My little ones are growing up.

Here's Ethan on his first day of 3rd grade.

And here's Ethan on his first day of 3rd grade after I told him to stop making that hand gesture. 8 year old boys are funny. That's all I gotta say about that.Hmm...there's that gesture again. This is one of Ethan's best buddies plus carpool buddy. On the way to their first day of school they were admiring each others new backpacks, without any type of character on it, I might add. They couldn't believe that they actually had GI Joe and Superhero backpacks last year. Now that they're big 3rd graders, those kinds of backpacks are just so uncool. They also didn't want me to get out of the car and make sure they made it to the right class. As I mentioned to them that there were other parents waiting with their kids they said, "yeah, but they're probably with with the younger kids." Well, alright then. I have to remind myself that I wanted to exercise more independance at their age too.

And here's my adorable littlest guy. 6 months old. He's sitting (and falling over) and grabbing and vocalizing and drinking lots o' milk (not so much food) and smiling and laughing. He's just so squeezable.