Its hard to come back

For Memorial Day weekend we went to St George and Zion National Park with all my extended family - my immediate family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

It all started with the pre-trip planning. Ethan and his cousins got together to plan their trip. Below is their list of assignments. Ethan took his very seriously, I might add. I love #11 where they even had a wake up time. I'm a little confused by #13 rope - Not sure what they needed rope for.

It was a 10 hour drive and it was Gavin's first trip outside the state. Here's a pic of the world's BEST baby traveler. Seriously. I didn't know how he'd do on such a long trip but he was a champ. No crying and a lot of smiling.St. George was warm and sunny just as I was hoping it'd be. Really, a dream come true, since we were happily leaving the cold, wind, and rain. We swam, played tennis, shuffle board, checked out the St George tabernacle, dined, gamed, and swam some more.

One of the days was spent in Zion's and it was gorgeous. Below are a couple crazy critters. The squirrels there are very bold and fearless. This one was practically between my feet when I took this picture. He kept coming closer cause he thought my camera was food.

I happened to catch this squirrel going for this guys apple cores. And no, I didn't warn him there was a squirrel sneaking up right behind him. Didn't want to ruin the shot. :)

Baby Gavin likes da Bumbo with cousin Jonah.Cousins Maddie, Sofie, Audrey, Jonah

It was a really fun trip and it definitely ended too soon. That fact was reiterated when I came back to the cold, wind, and rain.

3 months old

Gavin is 3 months old today. So crazy. Time FLIES! I still remember when Ethan was 3 months and I don't remember it going as fast as its gone with Gavin. These are some pics I took in our little photo shoot together.

I love my little guy. I love how he burrows his face in my shoulder when he's tired. I love his furrowed brow. His gummy smiles. His gummy cries. I love his giggles and coos - especially those "agoos". I love his blue eyes and long lashes. His little curl on top of his head. I love how he strains his neck as he tries to sit up when we lay him down. I love how he tries to put his thumb in his mouth but then misses and pokes himself in the eye or nose. I love spending 24/7 with him. He is the most adorable baby in the world (tied with Ethan of course). Ok, now I'm just boasting...I better stop. Happy 3 months Baby Bumps!

Mother's Day. I have so much to be grateful for on that day. I've got so many wonderful women in my life who I'm SO grateful for. I've got the best mama. I'm grateful that I live 7 minutes from her by car so I can see her anytime I want. I love that my mom LOVES kites. When I was young she made kites. She flew kites. She still flies kites. When there's a good wind she says, "Its a perfect day to fly a kite!" My mom's 71, fighting cancer (again), is a cub scout den leader I might add, and is still full of energy. She puts 110% into anything she does. She's always willing to try something new and fun. Just a couple Christmas' ago she tryed to snowboard for the first time ever. It was on a tiny hill, with two guys holding her up, but still, she tryed. (I'd post a pic of it if it weren't on my old lame-o, blame-o computer).

Courtney and I wanted to do something special with just the three of us, so this mother's day we took her shopping (on Sat of course). My mom has the hardest time shopping. She can't make any decisions. And when she does make a decision she's still not sure it was the right one. Which is exactly the way I am. Unfortunately she passed down her horrible shopping skills to me. Those good shoppers out there may not realize it, but shopping really is a skill. Its a talent. Take it from a horrible shopper such as myself. Anyway, we took my mom to Dillards, her favorite department store and grabbed anything we thought looked cute and had her try it on. And when she was unsure about a piece of clothing we made sure to tell her, "Just try it on for fun" just like she always said to us growing up. I have to say, my horrible shopping skills seem to go out the window when I'm shopping for someone else. I was making decisions left and right. It was unlike me. We spent a couple hours in the dressing room, sent the poor sales woman on many an errand for us. Took a bagel dog break (I know, we really know how to splurge :)) then went back and made the purchases. I think I've found my new calling. Shopping for other people. Much more fun than shopping for myself. Then of course as tradition goes with my mom, we topped off the shopping trip with See's candy. A tradition I have now passed down and will continue to pass down to my kids. It was so fun to see my mom in some of her new duds on Mother's day. I couldn't stop admiring her and her new clothes, and of course took a little pride in knowing that I'd (and Courtney too!) helped make her look so cute.

I've got the best mother-in-law. She just came out for a visit so she could meet Gavin, and I guess to see the rest of us too. She's so kind and generous and just layed back. We get to spend a lot of time together when she visits and I always have so much fun with her. I especially appreciate her raising such a wonderful son in Chad! Who, by the way, made me a wonderful dinner of Gnocchis yesterday. Mmm. My favorite.

And of course I've got two other major reasons that mother's day is so special. Ethan and Gavin. I love being a mom. I really do. I feel honored that I get to be a mother to these two very special people. I feel so blessed. This mother's day I have felt especially grateful for the blessing of having Gavin in my life and for the birthmother who made it possible. I'll forever feel grateful for her courage and bravery and for her trust in us.

This was Ethan's mother's day gift to me that he made at school. I love the letter he wrote me. He was very proud that he made the whole thing up himself. And I am too!

Ethan + Harry = BFF

Ethan is obsessed with Harry Potter these days. I should have taken a picture of all the sticks I found around the house (the ones I would toss out the back slider when he wasn't looking) that he used as wands before the Easter Bunny gave him this one. (See pic below). Ethan has always been imaginative and we appreciate his creativity, but Chad and I have decided we'll start getting worried if he ends up wanting to play "Dungeons & Dragons" in the park as a teenager while dressed in a cloak. Did anyone else see those guys playing that in the parks at night in Provo? Until then, there are more things to worry about than an obsession with Harry Potter.And here are Ethan and Gavin enjoying their Easter goods together. As you can see Gavin is fully enjoying his new toys and socks. I can't believe Gavin is 2 1/2 months. Crazy! He is seriously a JOY! We love and adore our little guy. We're loving his sweet smiles and coos and giggles. Such a fun age.Ethan participated in his first Pinewood Derby last week. His car won first place in 4 of the races. Cool huh? Not bad for a first timer. I love how the dad's get really excited when their car, I mean, their son's car wins.

And this is what baby bumpkin was doing during all the excitement.

This Too Shall Pass

When Ethan was about 4 months old we took him to an eye specialist because his eyes were acting a bit funky. His eyes were & are fine but I still remember what the doctor said to me, "This Too Shall Pass." It stuck with me and ever since I've adopted that saying into my life.

A few days ago I was writing everything that's happened with Gavin's birth and placement in my journal. I then started reading back in my old journal entries. Admittedly, many of my entries were about my struggles with infertility. It feels so good to be able to look back on that 6 1/2 years and realize that that chapter (a very long chapter, mind you) of my life has finally passed. Sometimes I wondered if we'd ever have a 2nd child and here he is, so adorably sleeping and grunting in his vibrating chair as I write this. I feel a sense of 'Wow, I can't believe that chapter of my life is finally over.' Sometimes I wish I could have been stronger and more faithful through that trial. Don't get me wrong, I did have some moments of clarity when I felt strong and faithful and felt the hand and encouragement of the Lord in my life, but I also had MANY moments of discouragement and hopelessness, which sometimes outweighed those great moments of clarity.

As I read in my journal there were a couple of impressions I had received throughout the years that I had completely forgotten about. Now that I'm able to look back on the experience I can see them more clearly as real answers to my prayers. As I was reading a book about adoption, I felt a distinct impression that my son was telling me that he was coming. At the time I didn't know if it was an impression or just a thought. But when I read about it recently, it hit me because at the time I wrote that, I thought our next child would be a girl. But amidst those thoughts of having a girl, I got the impression of a little boy. During the whole adoption/getting pregnant process I prayed a lot to know what to do next. I always felt I needed to do something in order to reach my goal of having a child. As an answer to that prayer I remember getting the impression more than once that I just needed to wait and be patient. There were many times I was discouraged and felt Heavenly Father didn't answer my prayer, but He did, I just didn't want to listen to His answer. I was tired of waiting. Another strong impression I got was when that first adoption fell through, Chad and I both felt very strongly that something good was going to happen soon, and it did. Five months after that adoption fell through, Gavin's birthmother started contacting us.

I've known that the hand of the Lord has been a part of Gavin's placement with us. I know the birthmother was led to us and we're meant to be his parents. But as I read my journal entries it all came together and I could finally see the whole picture. Heavenly Father's hand was in my life years before Gavin was even born. He gave me these experiences and impressions that helped me through and eventually led me to become Gavin's mom.

Announcing...

Gavin Michael was born February 17 at 4:09am, weighing 5lbs 8oz and 19 inches long.

Here's baby Gavin with his gloating big brother Ethan. And here's baby Gavin with his guard dog Tito. I love how tiny 8lb Tito makes Gavin look even tinier.

And here's baby Gavin holding his daddy's finger.

Favorite activities: Eat, sleep, poop, smile at mom (he's smiled at me 4x now), repeat.

Current nicknames: Baby Bumpkin & Gavioni

It's been such a joy to have Gavin join our family. It was an amazing experience as I got to be in the delivery room and watch him being born. There's something magical about that first moment when you first meet your baby. What pure joy!! He was well worth the wait. We feel grateful not only to be a witness to the miracle of birth but also to the miracle of adoption. We couldn't feel more gratitude for the lovely birthmother who gave us this priceless gift. She is our hero!

The Final Countdown

Eight more days (or less) til' we get to meet our baby boy!! We can't wait! We are so ready to meet this little guy who's kept us waiting for the last 6 1/2 years.

Besides being in baby la-la land here's what we've been up to since my last post: Ethan got baptized on February 5. Grandma Judy flew out from Cali to be here for it. We miss you already grandma Judy!
We said goodbye to my niece Cassi who went into the MTC.

Ethan turned 8 and had a little party with a few friends. They went to a fun bouncy place with a bunch of bouncy things. I can't believe my baby is 8!We partyed it up with the Barneys on New Years Eve. The kids always like to "jump" into the New Year by jumping off the couch when the clock hits midnight.The highlight of Ethan's Christmas was getting the Wii. Throughout the next week he kept saying how he couldn't believe that he actually had a Wii. He also got that remote control airplane that Chad is holding in that top picture. As for me, I took my maiden voyage in the roll making world. My sisters-in-law are usually in charge but somehow it landed on me to do it this Christmas. I made 116 rolls for 14 people (2/3 orange rolls, 1/3 regular crescent)...We like our rolls. :)Ah...Aren't they cute?

Here are cousin Maddie and Ethan with their chin puppets. So fun. I'd post a video of Ethan's chin puppet lip syncing to Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh, like Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh...by Justin Bieber but he makes me promise before I take any video footage of him that I won't post it on the blog. Apparently he was scarred for life when I posted that video of him a couple Christmas' ago, singing opera and dancing a jig. People kept telling him how funny he was. So next time, if I do post a video of him, shh, don't tell him.