Where Were YOU?

As we all know it's the tenth anniversary of 9/11 (a day late). We can't turn on the TV without hearing about it right? I really can't believe it's been ten years since that day. So much has changed because of that day. Airports have changed so much since then. Remember the days when we could just go up to the gate and wait for someone? Remember the lack o' security there? It doesn't seem that long ago. So the question is, where were you that morning?

I had been married a little over a year and living in our apartment in Provo. I was getting ready for work at Ancestry.com. I turned on the news and of course saw the World Trade Towers and saw the North Tower on fire. The news people seemed confused and were telling us they thought a plane had flown into the building. I immediately thought it was a small private plane that had accidentally hit the building. Then there it was, that really frightening moment the cameras caught on tape, of a huge plane very deliberately fly full speed into the other tower. That was CRAZY! It still is. When I see that image replayed it still scares me. It's almost unbelievable. I had to get to work, but I remember hearing more of what was going on throughout the day and I remember realizing that those weren't just private or cargo planes, but planes full of people. So sad and so scary for them. I remember hearing when the Towers started collapsing. Frightening. At Ancestry.com I worked in the call center, on the order status team. That day was pretty much dead. We barely got any calls except for that one rogue caller once in a while. I remember gettting all annoyed when someone would dare call wondering about their order during a terrorist attack. Their care about a cd seemed so superficial during such a scary and uncertain time.

One thing that stuck out to me as they've been doing 9/11 specials and interviewing the children then and now was a story one of the girls told. She said she had woken up with a bad dream the morning of 9/11. In that dream something bad had happened to her dad. She told him this and she pleaded with him not to go to work that day. He said, "Bad dreams don't come true." He died that day in one of the towers. I just thought, how sad, if only he had listened to his daughter. It would be interesting to hear the stories of those who happened to get sick that day or if someone had a bad feeling and decided not to go in that day or felt they shouldn't get on that plane.

It is definitely a day I'll never forget. Admittedly, it will go into the back of my mind and lay dormant for a while, but I've appreciated this time to remember what happened on 9/11 and what that day means to me.

Much Ado About Nothing

Warning: This post contains some serious rambling and blabbing. Just pretend you're right here with me and this is probably what we'd be talking about. Notice all the "sidenotes." If you haven't noticed this about me, this is how I have conversations. I get really sidetracked and by the end of a conversation I'm never completely satisfied because I usually don't get to the bottom of one subject. Just ask Courtney. Sometimes I think I have Adult ADD.

I've noticed that people aren't blogging nearly as much as they used to. It seems like at least 20 people on my blog roll haven't blogged in over a year. So that just leaves us old faithfuls in the blogging world. I guess I'm an old faithful. Although I'm not the best either. I've been known to abandon my blog for a while in the past. But I always come back and I never leave for too long.

Why I blog. Its a great way to journal. It helps me remember what happened and when. When did we go on that trip? When did we get rid of our big blue bomb? That kind of stuff. I know, kinda boring for others. It also helps grandma Judy and other California family members stay updated since we don't get to see them enough. I appreciate when people are open on their blogs. It's refreshing. I feel like people in general have become less connected in a way, but I appreciate how one can be quite personal through blogging and you can connect with others this way. And others can connect with you. Lately I've been reading a couple different blogs, two of which are sharing their stories and very personal details of dealing with different trials in their lives. I'm a total lurker and I haven't even met them but I appreciate reading their stories and admire their courage. I'm not going through or haven't gone through those things that they have/are but somehow I relate because I've realized that we all go through different trials but many times we feel the same pain. This is a total sidenote, but as I went through infertility, I realized SO MANY things. One thing I didn't learn until pretty recently, but wished I'd learned sooner, that when experiencing infertility you literally go through the mourning process to a certain degree. It's probably not as painful of a mourning process as it is when you actually lose someone close in your life, but a mourning process nonetheless. Anyway, learning that validated all the feelings, all the ups and downs, all the anger, sadness, and disbelief that I experienced those 6 1/2 years. Now what was I blabbing about? Oh yeah, being grateful that people put themselves out there for all of us to see. I also love reading others blogs and being able to experience their artistry, creativity, cleverness, humor, etc. Whatever it is they have to offer that day. One other sidenote. I feel I must explain my music on my blog. I know, I know, music on blogs can be annoying. When others have music on their blogs I usually immediately turn it off and get a little annoyed when I can't find it easily. Please note that I have deliberately placed my music at the top of my blog for easy access so one can immediately turn it off. Something you must know about me is that I love music. I think I've explained this before. If there is a song I like, I must listen to it over and over until I'm literally sick of it. I know, it's crazy. If I don't have it I must get my hands on it. Because I must. listen. to. that. song. A family trait, I've realized. That's where my blog music comes in handy. It's a free download. I get to listen to my favorite song of the moment for free. Its a win, win (for me, at least). So just know that I've probably listened to each one of my blog songs over and over and over again. And loved every minute of it. Get it? Got it? Good.

Something else I've been thinking about lately that makes me feel grateful, are my ancestors. I've been reading a book about my great great grandfather and great great grandmother. They are seriously amazing people. If only I were as faithful and hard working as they were. Mary, my great, great grandmother, traveled all alone all the way from Switzerland to New York City at the age of 18. She was trying to get to "Zion" with the rest of the Saints. Didn't have enough money to get there once she got to NYC. So she found a job, stayed there a year and left as soon as she had enough money. All because she wanted to live her religion with fellow members of the church. I just think that's so courageous. She also spent a night in jail because she was telling everyone she could about the church. This is when she was in Germany working and in Germany at that time it was against the law to preach mormonism. In the middle of the night a German officer came and got her and took her to jail. On the way to the police station/jail she asked the officer all about the judge that would be seeing her the next day. Apparently he wasn't a very good man. She spent the night writing the judge a letter and started her letter out by saying that she didn't think his wife and children would appreciate knowing what he's been up to. She then proceeded to tell him all about the gospel and share her testimony (which was against the law, mind you). The next day the judge got her letter and she was released from jail. What a cool woman! I just feel grateful for those early members of my family who joined the church, who lived the gospel, and who passed it on to their kids. I'm grateful for my great grandparents who passed the gospel onto my grandparents who then passed it onto my parents who then passed it onto me. And now I'm passing it on to my children. It just goes to show that the decisions we make in our lives will not only affect our lives but will affect generations. For good or for bad. And I'm so grateful that my ancestors chose to pass the gospel down to me. It brings me such joy and perspective.

I've mentioned in the past that my mom has cancer. Last fall, after her treatments they couldn't find any more signs of cancer which was a relief and very exciting. But I knew there was always a good chance it would come back. In January my mom went in for testing and there were signs the cancer had come back. Upon more testing, we found out in March that they found a tumor in her liver and the Dr gave her a certain amount of time to live. That was definitely hard to hear. That week was especially hard as I had to process the fact that she wouldn't always be around and that she might leave us sooner than I wanted her to go. Through this whole process the last few years I've always been really hopeful that everything would turn out ok and she would be ok, but when I found out it had gone into her liver, that was the first time I really mourned the possible loss of my mom. Right now she's doing really well. She doesn't seem sick at all. If you saw her you wouldn't even guess she's got cancer. She's up and about and as busy as ever. She had a procedure done where they burned the tumor. It came back in her liver again and they burned it again. And now we just hold on and wait and see what the next test results say. It wasn't great news that it came back the second time in her liver, but the good news is that there was only one tumor and it didn't spread to any of her other organs. Not even in the colon which is where the cancer originated.

This is another sidenote, but kind of exciting, at least for me. You may or may not know that I am a nail biter. I love to bite my nails. So sue me. I've done it for probably about 30 years. It's a HORRIBLE habit. My parents used to put this gross tasting stuff on my nails to get me to stop. Didn't work. I'd just bite them anyway. Gross taste and all. I've tried to stop biting them in the past by growing them out. Didn't work. The more nail I saw the more I'd want to bite them. Too tempting. So, on that note, I've stopped biting them for good this time. It's been 3 weeks and I haven't bitten a nail. I guess you could say I'm a recovering nail biter. My main motivation is my teeth. Because I've bitten them so much throughout the years it's worn down a couple of my teeth. One in particular that needs to be capped. They cap it, I continue biting and wear the cap down. Then they have to recap it. Its ridic. This time around I'm just keeping them short. I file them down most days so I'm not tempted. So far so good. Yay for me!

Hah...done. (deep breath). I think I've spilled most my beans for now. There's more I can talk about. There's always more to talk about, but I'll stop for now. And if anyone actually took the time to read this whole post, I greatly admire you!

My Guys

My little ones are growing up.

Here's Ethan on his first day of 3rd grade.

And here's Ethan on his first day of 3rd grade after I told him to stop making that hand gesture. 8 year old boys are funny. That's all I gotta say about that.Hmm...there's that gesture again. This is one of Ethan's best buddies plus carpool buddy. On the way to their first day of school they were admiring each others new backpacks, without any type of character on it, I might add. They couldn't believe that they actually had GI Joe and Superhero backpacks last year. Now that they're big 3rd graders, those kinds of backpacks are just so uncool. They also didn't want me to get out of the car and make sure they made it to the right class. As I mentioned to them that there were other parents waiting with their kids they said, "yeah, but they're probably with with the younger kids." Well, alright then. I have to remind myself that I wanted to exercise more independance at their age too.

And here's my adorable littlest guy. 6 months old. He's sitting (and falling over) and grabbing and vocalizing and drinking lots o' milk (not so much food) and smiling and laughing. He's just so squeezable.

Flashback Friday: Old & Dear Friends

I just got home from a trip to the east coast where I spent a week with two of my closest and dearest friends in the world. We always talk about getting together, somehow, someway, and this year we actually did it!

These two ladies are both so beautiful and unique and artistic and creative and fashionable and loving and caring and kind. And so fun to be with. I just sponge off their creativity and try to learn whatever I can. I just love them!

There's something about having such a long history with good friends. It's comforting. It's comfortable. Some friends just stick. And they've stuck. They're my soul sistas. And honestly, I don't know what I would have done without them in high school and college. I met Britt at age 14 and I met Carrie at age 17. They knew me through my awkward years and still seemed to like me. We laugh at how Kevin told me senior year in front of our other friends, "Wendy, you've really blossomed!" We now laugh at our fashion sense as college students and lament the fact that we wore t-shirts two sizes too big and somehow thought that was attractive. We laugh that if they ever needed to find me they only needed to look in the computer lab. That's where I spent most my time. We went to school before laptops, cell phones, texting, emails, etc. And yet it doesn't seem like that long ago. We laugh at the stupid things we did and said and the not so great decisions we made or the weird situations we found ourselves in. While together this week, we reminisced a lot and it was interesting to hear the different memories we each have that the others don't seem to remember. It was fun to go back in time for just a little while.

Here are some pics of Carrie, Brittany and I way back when. We're the three on the right, including Brooke and Jenna on the left - who I love too! First year at Ricks.

And yes, this is a professional roommate portrait we had taken at Walmart. We're so cool.

Behold the pastiness! I'm quite vampire-like. Winters in Rexburg are crazy cold.

And here we are now, in downtown New Canaan, CT (My new favorite east coast town - btw). The color on our faces is refreshing compared to that cold, wintery pic.Gavin and I made the trek cross country and here's a picture of him with the pilot. I had to of course document his first flight. I saw the pilot out on the landing and I made him move back to the cockpit. He was quite obliging. Gavin did such a great job on the plane. No ear problems. Something I was worried about. And don't worry I washed Gavin's binky afterwards. Don't know where those pilot's hands have been.This is the closest I've ever been to New York City and it made me happy. Loved seeing these bumper protectors. Who knew. I even saw the Statue of Liberty while in the air. Carrie picked me up from the Newark, NJ airport, then we headed up to New Hampshire where Brittanica lives and where we stayed for the week. These pics were taken on our little jaunt to Portmouth, Maine or NH - Can't remember which state we were in. We meandered through the little town and ate yummy desserts. After Portsmouth we stopped at the beach on the way home.

Visited the beautiful Boston Temple. I also wanted to include Jake, Britt's hubby, who was also our buddy at Ricks. Did I mention that they're the parents of five kids? Pictured is their oldest daughter who is twelve. You know we're getting old when one of us has a twelve year old.Another jaunt to a cute New England town, Exeter. Did I mention that Carrie is expecting her first baby in January?? I get teary every time I think of it. So happy for her and Todd.

I love you friends!! Until next time...

Highlights (and a few lowlights)

We just got home yesterday from a fun a trip to Glacier National Park. What a gorgeous place! It's a must see. And really, these pictures don't do it justice.Here are the highlights (and a few lowlights) of the trip:

P.S. I'm well aware that "lowlight" is not a word, but have used it for lack of a better one.
Lowlight: This was my view from the car. Due to my bad back I had to travel fully reclined.

Highlight: I got a great view of the blue skies, clouds, tops of trees and mountains.

Highlight: I didn't have to drive very much.

Lowlight: Chad got stuck doing most the driving. 20 hour drive (at least) round trip plus all the driving in the park.

Highlight: Because I didn't drive I had many opportunities to sleep in the the car.

Lowlight: I can't sleep in cars.Lowlight: On our fuel stop in Missoula we discovered blackish crap (for lack of a better word) all over Ethan's seat. We discovered it was Ethan's gum wrapped in a gum wrapper that he "stored" under his bum that got mushed and squished all over his seat.

Highlight: Goo Gone got it out. Apparently it's the only thing that doesn't ruin leather.

Highlight: Gavin was an awesome traveler. Again.

Highlight: The waterfalls, rivers, and lakes were this amazing emerald green color and were so clear.

Lowlight: As tempting as it was, it was too cold to get in. And my camera didn't capture its true color as I hoped it would.

Highlight: Ethan made new friends.Highlight: We got to hang out with old friends.

Highlight: We got to see so many beautiful waterfalls, mountains, valleys, vistas, lakes, and rivers.Highlight: We got to see some mountain goats.Highlight: We got to go down an alpine slide.Highlight: Chad sang along to the Carpenters with me.

Lowlight: We need to add to our music collection. It's feeling a bit stale.

Highlight: We had a great time and got home safely.

Lowlight: I wish I was still on vacation.

A Semi-Eventful Sunday

If I were really on the ball I would have posted this on Sunday, not Tuesday. I tend to be a day late and a dollar short as far as my blog goes...

Anywho, after church on Sunday, we were talking with some friends in the hallway when Ethan started hitting me in the stomach. When I looked down to see what was going on I saw that he was crying. Hard. I asked what was wrong and he just kept crying and then he pointed to his throat. It was then that we realized that he had swallowed the hard butterscotch candy he had gotten from the Bishopric, and he was choking on it. He was making some noise so we knew he was breathing. He started to gag and dry heave in the hall. Then Chad took him into the bathroom. I really thought it would quickly just slide down, but it didn't. It was just stuck. In the bathroom his nose started to bleed and he kept gagging and dry heaving. I found a doctor in the other ward. He put his finger down his throat and sure enough felt that the candy was stuck right at his voice box. The Dr. told us that he could put his finger down his throat or Ethan could just wait till the candy dissolved (he kept drinking water to help the process) on its own. Ethan opted to let it just dissolve, by that time it had gotten small enough to where he wasn't panicking as much. And it finally did just dissolve on its own. Whoo. That was pretty scary. He was breathing the whole time so I knew he'd be ok, but I didn't think it would just stay lodged in his throat for so long. The whole incident was probably 15 minutes but it seemed like so much longer. I keep thinking that had the candy been lodged in a different position it could have completely blocked his airway and the situation could have been a lot worse. We're just glad we've still got our Ethan with us.

Since then Ethan will periodically tell us what he'll do next time to let us know he's choking. Let's hope it doesn't happen again. He was pretty traumatized by the experience, as anyone would be, but he's doing ok.

And then we went and took some family pics later that day. Here's a little sampling, if you will.

Adoption Day!

Taken right before the hearing. Below we're posing with the judge.

Great news! Gavin's adoption was finalized today! YAY! We've been confidant that Gavin's adoption would go through and I've considered this day in court as more of a formality. But in reality, it was a really exciting and special day for our little family. Gavin's always been part of our family, but now it's satisfying to know it's official.And this is the crew who came down to the courthouse to support us. Thanks you guys! It really made the day more special having you there to share the experience.

Then later we of course had to celebrate with the whole family and the Barney's, our honorary family members.And here's who the fuss is all about. Our sweet little baby boy. Love, love, LOVE our little guy!! Happy Day!

*Please don't judge me for my lack o' frosting writing skills.