We've been working on our adoption paperwork and also looking through some other adoptive couple's profiles to get ideas and also to get an idea of who our "competition" is. I get so excited to adopt and then I start looking at everyone's profiles and wonder how in the world anyone will ever choose us amongst thousands of other couples?? Its very overwhelming. There are so many wonderful couples out there who deserve children. I guess it comes down to trust - trusting Heavenly Father that He has a plan for us and that there is a child who is meant to be in our family and somehow we'll find them. Its taken me a while to get here. 3 years ago I wasn't so trusting, I was more like a little child wanting to pound my feet and shake my fists at Heavenly Father while yelling "Why?! Why?! Why?!" Thanks to prayer, fasting, and scripture reading I'm luckily in a much better place now. I don't think yelling at Heavenly Father was the right way to go. I have a long way to go but I feel like I'm finally ready to give my will to His. Then again, it depends on the day, sometimes its easier than others. Its interesting how infertility or any other trial can humble you so much and help you realize that you're not in as much control of your life as you thought you were.
I know I'm very, very blessed and my trials are very small in comparison to many. If I ever start taking pity on myself I think of our friends Jason and Char who are going through a trial I couldn't even imagine. Jason and Char have 3 young children and Jason has been fighting a brain tumor for about 7 years. Someone with this type of brain tumor lives between 5-10 years. I'm sad they have to go through something like this but I admire their courage, strength, and happy spirits as they face an uncertain future.
That's it, now you know what I was thinking as I tossed and turned last night and why I feel the need to blog about it, I'm not sure. But there it is. Pictured are 2 of my greatest blessings. 
18 comments:
Wendall, you're making me cry! I know that I don't have any experience with what you're going through myself, but I do know a lot of adoptive families, and there's no doubt that their children were meant for their families. Their kids even LOOK like them. I think that maybe your baby's birth mother needs this experience in order to grow herself, the same way you have. I have no doubt that there's somebody out there who will think you guys are perfect. Who WOULDN'T? :) Love you guys!
Wendy, I love your perspective. I don't think you realize how much you've helped me grow, just by watching you and seeing your strength and your faith. I still have my days where I have a pity party, but those are getting fewer and fewer. It's amazing how time and...like you said, being humbled, can change our perspectives and our attitudes.
Sometimes I think and imagine that before I came to earth, I knew that I would face this challenge, that I was probably excited for it because I knew I'd grow in a certain way. Sometimes when my imagination really goes crazy, I like to think that I have this bond with this unknown woman and maybe we knew we'd face this challenge together. Maybe at another time we talked with excitement about her bringing my baby into the world because we knew she'd grow in a certain way by going through such an experience, and I would grow and change by facing infertility, and maybe the whole adoption process would affect my baby in such a way that it would allow him to grow into the person Heavenly Father wanted him to become. Maybe that sounds idealistic, but I do definitely believe Heavenly Father is aware of both of us and will get us our babies, one way or another, when the time is right. Let's hope it's sooner than later and pretty soon we will be holding our little babes and looking back on this time and wondering what all the fuss was about. Let's hope so...
You are a rock, Wendy.
I can't wait to see you again.
And also, you've blossomed.
You make me cry Wendy!!! I read your blog and then Holly's comment and I just am amazed at your strength. It makes me want to cry because being a mom doees that to me. I think of my wonderful children and all my friends children and to hear about your struggle to have more children just makes me think everyone who wants children so much should be blessed with children. It's so hard to always rely on faith alone. It will work out Heavenly Father has a plan for everyone. Just like Holly said pretty soon you will be holding your new little person and be wondering what the fuss was about. Thanks for your insight.
That was such a sweet blog. I love your look on life, you're such a good person, and a good example on persevering through Trials. Thanks.
I love this post, you have such a positive outlook. This road we are on is not an easy one, but it is good to count the blessings that we do have. Things will work out for all of us, I know it.
I loved your thoughts . . . I am trying to do the same, with turning my will to Heavenly Father's too, and it has been a minute-by-minute battle for me. When I stop and think though, I have INCREDIBLE blessings too, even though I want more. :) I just love you, and can't wait for the exciting post saying that you have a baby on the way!
wendy, based on good people deserving to get a baby, you and chad cannot be any higher to the top. i dont know anybody that is a better person/mother than you. you may not be blessed with the gift of fertility right now but you are blessed with such amazing faith and stregnth. and you and ethan have such a wonderful relationship. we're all praying for you guys. i love ya! lori
Ah! Awesome, Wendy! I loved hearing your thoughts and feelings. Just because we live close doesn't mean we always talk about these things, huh? Its rough when you find that you don't have control over that aspect of life. I know I've found it to be rough. Its cool to think, though, that somehow this experience is for our good. Hard to understand that, but its true. You're so cool, Wendy! I'm so glad you're my sister!!
Thanks for all your nice comments and support. :) I hope I didn't come across as having a pity party cause that wasn't what I was after.
I love you, friend. I can't wait to see you. I wish we lived closer.
Wendy, I loved reading your thoughts. Your are such an amazing person and example to me. I know this time must be really tough and waiting seems long. But Heavenly Father does have a plan for you and you, Chad, and Ethan are such a wonderful family that when that baby finds you it'll be so lucky to have you for family. When you hear stories of adoption you just know that those little babies are meant for paticular families and that only through the adoption process will they be united with their real parents.
I loved reading your thoughts because you seem so on track. Even though you've had serious heartache and trials, you are faithful and wanting to move forward instead of just standing still and giving up.
I've been able to see couples just like you and Chad get to adopt a baby when they thought all hope was lost. It will happen! Heavenly Father knows what fabulous parents you guys are and I'm sure He is preparing a situation for you guys specifically.
I wish my long nights of tossing and turning provided such deep thoughts and realizations!
I had no idea of your struggle. I guess that is what years of not seeing or talking to eachother can do. You are super strong and I know Heavenly Father will bless you. You are a great example of faith and courage to me! I will keep you in my prayers, but I know it will happen for you guys, I know it!!
Wendy-
Long time lurker, first time commentator :)
How I admire you. I don't know if I would be as positive and have the faith that you do. I know that Heavenly Father will bless you and your family for it.
Can't wait to see you-
Tamara
Okay, if you need ideas for a post I am tagging you again. You now have a hubby and kid tag. Hope all is well!
I've yelled at God too. I think He gets that a lot. You are handling things well. There is a plan, it sometimes just takes time to unfold. I love you! Can't wait to see you in AUg.
Found ya! Thanks for coming over tonight! We had lots of fun catching up with you guys! Lets do it again soon!
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